Monday, February 7, 2011

SO STRESSFUL

What is life? I asked myself this question all the time and still no answer. Life has gotten harder and more confusing...So lets start at the beginning someone close to me began a life that cant include me. What I mean by that is he has a family and I cant be a third wheel. At this point in the situation I feel like I am. He says he doesn't want her to be with the baby mama but will be there for the child well, ok thats fine but I still don't know about his feelings or mine for that matter. Most of the time I feel like he does care for me and other times I get this vibe that hes confused.
What have I become am I now the "other" woman, am I the person that doesn't let this man go to his baby's mother??? Does it count if he doesn't want anything to do with her??
Many people tell me to pull away just leave him, how this is not my problem. Its true its not my problem but I care for this man enough to be there through good or bad times. Its just I am not really sure this is the time to pull away
Now do you see why I am confused in life...I find that my own thought process is really scrambling my brain and I just wish I could stick with one idea and do it. If it is to leave, then leave, and if it was to stay then stay.
Another joke life seems to be hitting me with are reminders, reminders of what you may say, well of someone I thought things would be different with. A feeling I hadn't felt in a long time, that I miss very much. I constantly remind myself that its no longer coming back but where I go, random people I see or hear seem to be dialing his number. Not literally but just brining him back into my sight. At one point I thought he was actually behind me. I shake my head at times thinking I have a problem, and may be I do...All I know for sure is that this is a feeling that will take time to forget or if it does have a second chance, can be a feeling that makes the rest of my days magical..

Take care to those that read this

No comments:

Post a Comment