In a few hours I will have reached a point in my life were I thought I would be sure of certain things. Things such as what I am doing as a job, perspective in regards to family needs, and wants, and Love. Out of this very general list Love has proven to be the hardest to keep, and maintain. I see that in one hour I not only get older but I have no clarity on where I stand on Love and the men that I have loved, and love...At times I find that people tell me that I don't know what it is, or that I am in a relationship that is not for me. I hear all these people tell me what I know about love isn't enough, what I feel love is... isn't true, even that I never knew what love is. These comments not only make me confused in the sense of "What am I doing or feeling then??" But it hurts to think that this could be true.
I come home thinking about all the general statements I have heard in my life, thinking about what is going on with me right now and I am more confused then ever. The only thing that I am sure of is that I will not let others tell me what I am feeling, or what I need to do in order to be happy. I know that if I am uncomfortable the best thing to do is be somewhere else. If I am upset I need someone to give me space to think of what just happened and then talk to me and listen to what I have to say. I don't want to be forced into any action or relationship that doesn't make me happy, and for sure I wont be told what I can and cannot do.
This entry is needed not because I need people to confirm or reject what I am saying, I am writing it to see where my thoughts are. How is it that I can find clarity when I am walking in the dark?? I know what I don't want, what I do need, so then what do I do???
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Monday, January 9, 2012
Delightful Treats
Sunday I find myself waiting in line for my bagel and I look to my right and see a cookie. Now I know what your thinking what can be so special about a cookie. Well this cookie was too fancy for me, see it was a Penguin in a Top Hat ready to go to a party. I began thinking to my self "Wow, this cookie is fancier than me right now..." but in all seriousness I was just thinking who comes up with these cookie ideas. I think they are great, it definitely makes me smile to see the different shapes and colors these cookies may have. Some times I feel guilty eating them, I just wanna look at them.
I find that in these situations I have been taking a few pictures of these wonderful, delightful cookies, which so happen to be of Penguins...But these artistic cookies make me feel creative, and it brings so many ideas or questions to my mind. I find it hard to concentrate on one...For example my next blog will hopefully be about coffee and the places I have found so far...I have walked around plenty of times but these places I see..may or may not be the place to start the morning. Ill hopefully will be back with more comments and pictures of what I find, and what comments, questions, or concerns came to me as I went through the day! Enjoy the delights when you find them :)
I find that in these situations I have been taking a few pictures of these wonderful, delightful cookies, which so happen to be of Penguins...But these artistic cookies make me feel creative, and it brings so many ideas or questions to my mind. I find it hard to concentrate on one...For example my next blog will hopefully be about coffee and the places I have found so far...I have walked around plenty of times but these places I see..may or may not be the place to start the morning. Ill hopefully will be back with more comments and pictures of what I find, and what comments, questions, or concerns came to me as I went through the day! Enjoy the delights when you find them :)
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